I walk to my front door. It is a cottage door with wood and a long window. Although it is closed I can feel the icy breeze seeping in through the gaps. The glass is wet and streaming and I see nothing. My thoughts turn inwards and I wonder for a moment what I will see when I finally open this door. I linger a while longer, anxious at all the possibilities that lurk beyond that wet, dripping pane of glass. I allow myself to dream awhile. What would I want to see, what would give me joy, what would help me, now, right now? I can't help my brain from knowing exactly what I'm going to see but I wait, one more small anticipatory moment, one breath in, one breath out, and again, and again. Finally I pluck up my courage to open the door and my hopes, however small they were, vanish in an instant.
You are not there!
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